Single and Ready to Mingle in Your fifties and Beyond
Society’s attitude towards women embracing their grey hair often reflects deeply ingrained standards of beauty and age-related biases. Historically, societal norms have perpetuated the notion that youthfulness equates to beauty, leading to the stigmatization of natural signs of aging, particularly in women.
Lack of representation of grey-haired women in media and advertising reinforces hurtful stereotypes, contributing to the pressure on women to conform to youthful standards of beauty. Despite growing movements advocating for self-acceptance and embracing natural beauty, the societal discouragement of women wearing their grey hair remains a poignant reflection of deeply rooted ageism and beauty standards. When it comes to living comfortably in your skin and embracing the normal and beautiful part of aging, representation matters.
Our desire to celebrate all phases of aging led us to the social media profile of Elise B. Gomez. The grey-hair beauty whose Instagram profile displays a life dedicated to living life devoid of societal acceptance and need to fit in. I sat down with Elisa to talk all things aging and dating outside of social expectations and norms.
Alexis – Thank you so much for doing me today, Elisa. As you know, I’ve followed you for a while and absolutely love your approach to life, and can relate with your desire to share a different, more positive side to aging and dating in your fifties and beyond. With so many women our age asking the same questions, I wanted to bring you on to answer some of our most asked questions about dating and life at this beautiful stage. So, tell us a little bit about you.
Elisa – For those who don’t know me, my name is Alisa Berini Gomez. I am a 55 and three quarters year old woman. I was in a toxic relationship for several years and I got out of it three years ago. So my self-esteem got crushed, I’ve been to hell and back. It took my two years of therapy to decide to go back in the dating scene again.
Alexis – Glad you’re safe and feel whole again, Elisa.
Elisa – Thank you. I’m doing much better now. No, I am in a pretty good place. I’ve actually gone back on several dating sites, I’ve been on quite a few dates and I am learning that for some reason or another, men nowadays need a lot of guidance just to figure out the most simple things. I’ve been on fifteen dates since getting back online two months ago, and it’s a constant teaching situation. And a teacher I am not.
Alexis – Yes, having to teach an adult basic social cues in dating would be exhausted.
Elisa – Yes, it’s definitely a deal-breaker. And some are very intimidated by my personality you know, I’m sorry, but like, are you seriously?
This is new, the whole you intimidate me. I don’t remember this attitude growing up. When did men become so intimidated of sucefful women? I have no time for it.
Alexis – What are somethings that you’ve found helpful for dating at this stage of life?
Elisa – I had to do some shadow work to make sure I don’t bring previous traumas into potential new relationships. In doing that I have zero patience for men who are not mentally ready to be in a healthy relationship. My advice for anyone looking to date and possibly have a long-term partner is to love yourself enough to invest in working through past trauma. Do your shadow work, find out where it’s coming from, work through them and start creating bounders for yourself and everyone you come in contact with.
Alexis – That’s amazing advice, Elisa. When we talked previously you mention how your hair was a topic of many conversation when you started wearing it in it’s natural state, has that changed?
Elisa – No it hasn’t changed at all, really. Both men and women are puzzled that I would wear it grey. They don’t come out and say it, but their questions are formed in a way to suggest that I should consider dyeing it, but I could care less. One thing I love about aging is how little I’ve come to rely, or take the opinions of others into consideration when deciding what makes me happy. That is the most freeing place to be.
Alexis – Thank you so much, for your time Elisa, much appreciated.
You can follow Elisa’s journey on her YouTube page for more tips on dating and living on your terms.